You’re a lovely brown teddy bear and you have to kill all the other (mostly pink) teddy bears that are advancing on your sandbagged defenses. To do so, you move a crosshair around the screen and shoot their heads off, resulting in an arterial spray of rainbow “blood”. (Or you can just shoot them until the fall over, but let’s face it, nothing’s more satisfying than a good head shot.)

Shoot them! Shoot them in the head!

Don’t let the subverted cuteness of it put you off. It’s a proper game that doesn’t just rely on “Ho ho! You shoot teddy bears!” to keep you playing. (Because, let’s face it, if that’s all it had then it wouldn’t keep your attention unless you had very strange mental health issues.) The controls work very well, there are a lot of weapons to unlock, some absolutely huge bosses and it seems to have a lot of content.

I never find myself playing for long sessions. After two or three levels I’ve normally had enough and I go and play something else – but I always end up coming back for more. You wouldn’t want it to be the only game on your iPhone, but it’s nice to have as part of the library.