Managed to the second level, which I failed last night. Playing at my desk works far better than trying to play on the sofa. I think it’s the game’s natural habitat. It may not be the best in the series, but to be in a Katamari mood and just be able to have a quick go of a perfectly decent version is great.

The demo features two levels. The first has you rolling around a water-covered Katamari, bringing life back to the desert. It’s absolutely wonderful. I love seeing flowers and plants spring up where I roll. The second level is a traditional level, set in a house, where you have to roll up small objects to get to 20cm. As always, it’s throughly enjoyable stuff.

I love Katamari and this looks like being a great game. The series lost its novelty factor long ago, so it’s a good job the charm and the fun still remain.

Which may have been a mistake.

It’s not that it’s a small version of the game – that’s understandable and okay by me, given the price.

It’s not the framerate, which though slightly alarming never stops the game being playable on my 3GS.

It’s not the tilt controls as such, they work fine.

It’s that you can’t calibrate the controls, as far as I can see. The game is set up with a neutral angle that makes no allowances for being slumped on the sofa or lying in bed. If you’re not sitting up, almost hunched over the phone, you can’t play it. Bah.

(Also, I apologise for managing to take such a bland, grey screen shot of the game.)

I played for a while, but the “neutral” angle that you have to hold the iPhone at when you don’t want to move feels unnatural to me when I’m slumped on the sofa. I should have checked if there were any calibration options, really. Until I got back and do that, the experiment is incomplete.

Mind you, unless the game goes on sale for half price I’m unlikely to buy it, anyway.

Anyway, I went back to this to see if the controls felt better now I’m a bit more experienced with the tilting and turning of my iPhone.

Like many other games I’ve tried, the results were positive. After a couple of games I was rolling around like nobody’s business and even managed to get a katamari of over 25cm, which was brilliant – for me. I’ve no idea if that’s actually any good or not, though. There’s no goal set and the King wasn’t impressed – but is he ever? It would be nice for some better feedback from the demo. I’m not buying the full game if I don’t know if I’ll be able to complete any levels. Mind you, while it’s £4.99 I doubt I’ll be buying it all.

Still, the thing is, it’s Katamari, which automatically sparks lovely feelings in my brain. I just need to see the graphics and hear the music and I’m in a happy place. I think the demo makes me happy enough for now, is all.

Metal Gear Solid Touch Lite – Very much enjoyed this. Drag your sights around the screen to shoot enemies, the catch being that when you’re moving the sights and shooting you can be shot, but when you’re still you go into cover. I’d very much like the full version, but £4.99 feels steep when it used to cost £3.49.

I Love Katamari Lite – Haven’t quite got used to the tilt controls. Not sure I ever could. I need to play it more, see if it ever becomes comfortable.

Eliss Lite – A game that wouldn’t work on any platform other than the iPhone, which makes it something of a novelty. It’s meant to be good, but the demo is too short and the instructions make no sense at all. I’m interested, but not rushing off to buy.

My Brute Lite – Very limited demo. I play the web version every day, so an iPhone version would seem like an immediate buy, but £2.99 just feels too expensive. £1.79 or less and I’m there… though I may well cave and buy it soon anyway.

Tangled Lite – Untangle stuff. Can’t get my head around it at all and only solve puzzles by fluke. For clever people, though, I can see this being decent.

Unblock Me Free – Great little puzzle game that works perfectly and requires actual thinking. Good stuff.

Skybound Lite – Last but far from least, this is a lovely little game that reminds me off a flash game from a year or two ago where you had to collect bells, or something. A ball falls down the screen, you draw clouds underneath it so it bounces back up, you see how high you can go. Great little demo. I’d buy the full version for 59p in an instant and will probably pay the current price (£1.19 I think) before too long.

It was my wife’s first glimpse into the world of Katamari and after one go of the demo she demanded more, so I sat her down in front of We Love Katamari on the PS2, which she’s still playing and which she’s calling, “The funnest game ever.”

I need to find my PSP charger and hope we can work some TV-sharing out when Bioshock comes out.

I started up and had a nice easy kind of bonus level rolling up a snowman’s head.

I should have left it there, but I had to go and try another level. From 20cm to 12m in 12 minutes. I got up to 9m. Oh. Very angry King. Ran away.

Previously, I liked hanging out with it and wasn’t averse to the odd bunk up and, sure, I loved it in a way, but now I’m completely in love.

It was the Hansel & Gretal level that did it. The simplest and easiest level so far. There’s nothing to it at all. But just the design of the house and the greatness of the concept just worked some magic on me and now I’m in love.

Even if I just let a fire go out twice and had lasers shot at me for my troubles.

I’m so sorry I missed our date today. I know, I know, but it’s been a strange diary, even by my standards. I was on my way to see you, trying to mind my own business, when a tiny Sumo wrestler approached me and asked for my help. Of course, he actually meant he wanted my father’s help. I’m nothing to these people – nothing! I do all the work, all the rolling, yet it’s my father who gets the praise, the fans, the glory. I don’t know how much longer I can stand it.

But my father forced me into helping him again. He made me roll this Sumo wrestler around the town picking up food that had been left lying around. I got hit by a train several times because chicken legs had been left on the railway line, but I’m okay. Just a bit sore. This guy ate and ate. He even ate some children I ran into by mistake. Oh God, darling, I’m a murderer! I don’t want to do this! I don’t want to live this life! I want to be good! I want to paint! Maybe teach! Not this endless rolling, rolling, rolling. I’m a thief and a killer!

My father had only given me five minutes to get this Sumo guy up to size and by that time I’d failed. Everything went black and my father appeared above me, terrifying to behold. And then the laser bolts shot from his eyes, something I’ve seen before. He was so mad at me! I ran, trying to evade his terrible discipline, but some of the bolts hit. It was burning agony like I’ve never felt. My poor raw hide! He hit just the spots left raw by the train hits. So I tried again and again I failed him and his rage was no less brutal.

And again I tried and this time I realised I had to take the Sumo wrestler to his match before the five minutes was up. He beat his opponent and my father was all sweetness and light and let me go. I ran all the way to the cinema, but by the time I got there, you’d gone. I’m really sorry.

I know we’ve talked about this, how I should run away, let one of cousins take over my duties, that the way my father treats me is wrong. But I can’t help going back. He’s my father, and he’s King of the Cosmos and I’d never be able to hide. I love you, but like it or not, this is my life. I hope you can accept that. I’ve learned to, in time I’m sure you will, too.

Maybe you should come round for dinner one day, so I can introduce you? Please, reply soon. I miss you.

Your Love,

The Prince