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Author's Note This follow-up is because someone begged me for it...I hope that I can do the rest of these characters justice :) As with the first story, "A New Year to Remember," Jody Revenson's "Nightwing and Oracle" is presumed to be in the past of my own timeline. (Both of these stories can be found at http://home.att.net/~lubakmetyk -- Thanks Luba!!) Again, my timeline is a divergence from Jody's, she has her own plans for the characters. Several people mentioned in response to my last story that they didn't think Babs and Dick had a relationship when she was 22 and he was 16, but I *am* presuming that it happened ;) The reactions in the following scenes are from the rest of the Bat crew - Dick and Barbara both make appearances, but the focus of the story is the reactions of others to their news. It's broken up into three chapters. Feedback is always welcome!! gabi@gies.com << >> -- denotes a scene from memory Nightwing / Oracle - A New Year To Remember9:52 pm. New Year's Eve. If it had come seven months ago, she'd have probably "Bah, humbug'd" through the whole thing. Instead, this year, she found herself smiling a lot. Sometimes the twists and turns life takes can be unexpected, she mulled to herself as she kept her eyes on her computer terminal. Though it was likely to stay quiet tonight, she intended to remain on duty until just before midnight. Barbara Gordon, known to the superhero world only as Oracle, was actually HAPPY. Amazingly enough, her happiness was tied to the one person who she never thought she'd have another chance with. 'We've come full circle,' she thought to herself with a small smile. Years ago, she and Dick Grayson were involved in an intimate relationship which she later ended with excuses about their ages. At twenty-two to his sixteen, it could have been a consideration in their intimate relationship. 'But it wasn't the real reason I ran,' she conceded to herself. She'd been afraid, he'd gotten too close. As Robin and Batgirl, each following their crimefighting paths, they'd had so much in common. He understood the pressures and pains of having two lives. Like two halves of a whole, they fought back to back fiercely and then made love with a depth of passion she never found with anyone else. Destroyed when she turned him away, she never let herself imagine there would come another time for them. The twists of Fate, she thought. It had been idyllic, the past seven months. Well.... *almost* idyllic. Barbara couldn't help but smile, remembering the numerous necessary adjustments. The physical adjustments weren't all that difficult, though Dick's commute from Bludhaven to Gotham could be rough at times. He now left some of his clothing and a couple of his costumes in the cleaned out closets, and though discussions about the possibility of Barbara moving up to Bludhaven came up occasionally, no move was imminent toward that drastic change. There were practical considerations for it, as well as emotional ones. Dick's apartment needed to be overhauled to handle Barbara's wheelchair and equipment, but there was also an emotional security for her in this apartment which she wasn't ready to relinquish yet. The emotional adjustments of their relationship were quite a bit harder than any of the physical ones, though the situation seemed to have settled recently. Dick began spending more time in Gotham, usually four nights a week. They'd had their share of arguments, certainly. Barbara was used to having things her own way and there are inevitable conflicts that come when familiarity breeds laxness. The third time she found herself unable to go from the bathroom to the living room because Dick unthinkingly left a hundred things strewn in her chair's path, a knock-down, drag-out fight ensued that finally ended five hours later. Dick's apology for being so thoughtless sent Barbara bursting into tears, much to his confusion. Barbara contemplated that fight long and hard as she sat at her terminal. They were both in the wrong that time, she knew. Dick for not thinking about her limitations, Barbara for using the defense mechanisms that were ingrained in her. Fear of the relationship not working out preyed on her mind for days prior to the blowup and, coupled with a heavy bout of PMS, she lashed out at Dick with startling ferocity over such a minor thing. Trying to drive him away before he could leave her, she realized now, before he could see all her flaws and destroy her by walking out of her life again. Okay. So it actually wasn't anything close to idyllic those first weeks, with periodic outbreaks of such insecurity from one or the other of them. Stemming from his parents' deaths and Bruce Wayne's habitual emotional distance from everything, Dick's underlying insecurity about losing his loved ones solidified into a kind of emotional wariness. Batman's rejection of Robin as a partner bit deeply into the younger man and the desertion of his former fiancee, Koriand'r, only increased Dick's feelings of loneliness and abandonment. Unlike his mentor, he refused to close up and allow the injuries to his heart make him over into the image of the Batman. Or so he thought. Occasionally, Dick could be counted on to utilize what Barbara termed privately as 'Bruce Wayne tactics' to distance himself from her. At those times, probing for any answers got her nowhere. It was as if Dick retreated into himself at times to battle his expectations of being abandoned again, now that he'd opened his heart one more time. She tried hard to be understanding, though every once in a while she got impatient with his brooding and drew him out with a well-placed comparison to Bruce. It never failed to pull Dick out of his stupor to deny such allegations. At other times, Dick just hid his fears and uncertainties behind the jokes and puns that served them both so well in the past. Though the age difference between them back then might have been worth commenting on, their relationship remained the one time that she'd ever felt what she thought real love and emotional fulfillment should be. Hiding their terrors behind joking banter, so different from Batman's stoic silence, was their way of emotionally distancing themselves from a situation they might not get away from in one piece. Even now, Barbara knew, Dick kept those defense mechanisms tightly in place to safeguard himself from the possibility of losing someone else from his life. She tried to be careful with his emotions, listening when he wanted to talk and changing the topic when he didn't. Barbara allowed their banter to ease him through the desolate moods as much as possible, understanding their relationship was still on shaky ground. Long buried and unacknowledged, their feelings for each other had only grown through the years and made them each vulnerable to the other. They knew each other better than anyone else would probably ever know either of them. Sharing long discussions in the darkest hours of the night, she gave him a peek at the very core of her self and she knew he allowed her the same rare privilege, telling her things that he never considered telling even his fiancee. Those hours - the ones where you can tell someone all your deepest, darkest secrets without fear, the ones where you say all the things you'd never say face to face or admit to in the light of day - those were what built their relationship. At the same time, the emotional investment was frightening. Dick's insecurities about loving anyone would only be overcome by time. Barbara slipped out of her reverie to glance at the clock. 10:22. With a sigh, she wheeled herself away from the computer terminal. It would beep if she was needed. Dick had promised he'd be home in time to celebrate the incoming New Year with her, but it seemed like forever until then. Would he make it, she wondered. Maybe, maybe not. She looked around the room and decided that physical activity would keep her mind from counting the minutes down only to be disappointed. It was highly likely that Dick would be late and she didn't want to get upset over it. 'The price of life as a vigilante's woman,' she mused. As she began to pick up his clothes off the back of the couch to take them in her lap toward the bathroom hamper, Barbara laughed softly to herself. "And here I am, picking up after you again. You make me crazy, you know," she mused aloud in an affectionate tone. Upon reaching the bathroom, she picked the three shirts up out of her lap to place them in the dirty clothes hamper and then stopped. Lifting them, she buried her face in them for a moment, inhaling his scent deeply. She missed him when he wasn't here. At times, that frightened her. To complicate matters in their relationship further, Barbara's own insecurities ran extremely deep. Her paralysis, caused by the Joker's bullet, damaged more than her spine. It had, for years, damaged her faith in her womanhood. Though the physical aspect of their relationship had worked itself out relatively easily, perhaps mostly due to Dick's prior intimate knowledge of her body and what she found pleasurable, the emotional aspects were much more difficult to get past. Taller and smarter than most of the boys in her classes at school, she intimidated them too much to be asked out on many dates. Additionally, though it wasn't on purpose, her father's profession and position as Gotham's Police Commissioner had scared off several potential dates for Barbara. Her few relationships later had been sabotaged by her life as Batgirl. Perhaps on purpose, she acknowledged to herself. She wasn't about to let anyone close enough to hurt her, and so she let all of those potential relationships drift away. While the adage that girls matured faster than boys may have held true for many, it wasn't the case for Barbara. Her high school years left her feeling isolated, as if there was something wrong with her for being too tall and too smart and too whatever, and the relationships she engaged in prior to Dick hadn't touched her soul the way he did. Her emotional development at the time didn't allow for the depth of feeling Dick inspired in her young heart and she used incredibly stupid excuses to send him away, to put distance between them and isolate herself again. Expecting to be insulated from the riot of feelings she couldn't understand, to be able to shut her emotions off again, she found herself in shock when her heart's devastation was instead the result. It didn't lessen through the years, it only got easier to hide as she retreated behind work. Following her convalescence from the Joker's gunshot, she armored herself against what she considered "pitying looks" from everyone, further enhancing her mental and physical isolation in a fortress of her own making. Using her formidable intelligence and her skill with computers, Barbara built a new life for herself. Everything she would ever need was stockpiled inside her apartment so she wouldn't have to go out. Her contract work through the library was done via the Internet or expressed out by messenger, her social life was mostly online, and she even had her groceries delivered. Very few of her transactions were face to face. If necessary, she could withstand a siege. She let no one close enough to touch her physically or emotionally. But always inside the impenetrable armor was a young, lonely woman with just a small hope that someday someone would see through the tough facade. Barbara smiled just a little. He always saw through her. When had she *ever* been able to fake him out? Never, she silently acknowledged with a grin. He could read her like an open book when he chose to, and yet there were times when she was SURE he went out of his way to make her actually say what was on her mind instead of just letting her hide it behind the wall of silence. She figured that it was because he and Bruce never talked things out, and he didn't want their relationship to have the kinds of misunderstandings that had developed as a result. Both scarred by the past, the trust required to actually say something to each other's face could sometimes be hard, but it was worth it. She made him into a man when they were young, showing him that his passion could take him beyond his loneliness... and then the incredible man he became made her back into a woman. He made her face up to what it meant to have and maintain a real relationship, reminded her what it was like to trust the other person enough to verbalize the things that she'd rather not say. And it scared the hell out of her. What if she failed him? What if living life with a paraplegic woman got to be too much strain? What if it actually lasted a long time and for some reason she became completely dependent on Dick to do everything for her? Before he opened her heart back up to the intense emotions that she was capable of, she'd been much like the Greek Oracle that she'd named herself for - cut off from most human contact, the most casual touch denied power to reach her. He so easily breached those defenses built up with such care, and what happened? She became vulnerable. Some day, Barbara thought, it would all crumble around her. He would become disgusted by all she couldn't share with him, by all she couldn't do, by the bowel and urine collection equipment she was compelled to use. It didn't matter that all of the equipment was emblazoned with the acrobat label of Grayson Industries, she fretted, it was just another symbol of her inadequacies. Barbara slowly set down the shirts she was clutching against her cheeks, her hands shaking slightly with the force of her insecurities. How could they have a lasting relationship, how could they have a family? Barbara's certainties in her own non-perfection had pushed her into lashing out at Dick on an almost-regular basis once he started coming to see her all the time. Utilizing the same sarcastic repartee that always went on between them, she wielded the words with much more biting force than usual. It was as if she was trying to push him back out of her heart before he could leave of his own volition, terrified that if she let this relationship continue, it would end in disaster again. Fortunately, though Dick couldn't always see and wouldn't acknowledge how his own insecurities were making him react to Barbara, he knew her defense mechanisms and how she used them intimately. He was prepared for her to fight the growing intimacy, knowing it would panic her at times. He was as patient and tender with her insecurities as she was with his. Which is to say, sometimes he pandered to them, and sometimes he shouted at her. Barbara's smile became wistful. Those were some amazing displays of temper, but the making up was certainly worth it. It took some time to work things through, for each of them to really believe the other saw them differently than they saw themselves. The past month really had been pretty close to perfect, with just the right level of disagreement and no huge blowups. Each had something to offer the other, though Barbara was quite certain he gave more than he got. In the past several months, she could see the difference in herself. She was more sure of herself, confident and at ease with their shared environment in ways she never thought possible. She felt like she could ask him to do things for her without giving up a part of herself whereas asking for help before was a weakness to be despised. He didn't pity her, didn't see her paralysis as making her less of a woman, and that changed her world. Her father once said that it would happen that way. She believed him, now. Sometimes Barbara wondered how she'd lived so many years alone, without the man who was rapidly becoming the other half of her very soul. It then usually occured to her that she *hadn't* in fact been without him. They had always maintained between them a tight, trusting bond of friendship. A closer bond, in fact, than either ever really encouraged with anyone else. Without ever consciously realizing they were building their future, they built their relationship on the foundation of years of friendship and shared secrets. She glanced at the time. 10:52pm... was he going to make it? The
computer's 'talk window' chimed, bringing Barbara's attention to the screen. The computer
identified the request as coming from the comlink Robin's reply was a cheerful, chipper grin. "Yeah, things are cool. I just wanted to wish you a Happy New Year. Batman's sending me home to be with my Dad, since he's got his own social obligations and doesn't want me out there on my own. Not that I'm complaining, mind you... this time. Take care, okay?" Barbara's grin was easy as she answered, "You too. Have a good
time, and Happy New Year." As the link closed, Barbara pondered the situation. Every
New Year's Eve, there was a party in the historic Gotham City Renaissance Hotel attended
by all the 'up and coming' society members. Her father and Sarah usually attended, since
her father was of sufficient rank and social position in the Gotham hierarchy to merit an
invitation, and Bruce Wayne always put in an appearance as well. Knowing With a soft sigh, Barbara shook her head. Bruce would do what he had to in order to feel that he was living up to his own expectations, regardless of anyone's worry or wishes that he might take a little time just to enjoy the holiday. Knowing Alfred was alone at Wayne Manor with a private bottle of champagne, awaiting the return of one of the men he considered his 'sons,' Barbara made a mental note to call him and wish him a Happy New Year at midnight. She checked the time again...10:59pm. An hour to go. It was beginning to look like Dick wasn't going to make it. Barbara scowled slightly at the computer and wheeled away from it again, entering the kitchen. Thanks to her building being owned by Wayne Enterprises, the necessary renovations to her apartment following her paralyzation were completed before Barbara was released from the hospital. The kitchen was a masterpiece for a person in a wheelchair with a freezer/refrigerator combination that only stood three and a half feet tall but was wider than the norm to still hold everything she wanted. The stove was much the same way, with the oven set all the way to the floor and still full-sized in such a way as to make the stovetop still accessible to Barbara's reach. It made for an interesting sight when Dick did the cooking, she thought. Reaching into the refrigerator, Barbara removed the pepperoni and cheese for crackers along with a container of onion dip for chips. Amused, she surveyed her choices as she spread them onto a tray for moving them to the living room. Surveying the choices of food on the tray, she said aloud, the habit of talking to herself an old one, "I don't have a clue how you eat so much junk and stay so slim. Even before the chair, I couldn't eat the sheer volume of this crap that you put away." She laughed softly to realize how well she knew his food preferences, "Sugar, starch, fat, more sugar and alcohol... I think I covered all the food groups." Cheese, meat, crackers, chips and dip, champagne already in a bucket in the living room... it was just about all set. She'd tried, Heaven knows, to get him to eat better stuff. Her refrigerator was always full of cottage cheese, fresh fruit when it was in season, and fresh vegetables for snacking on. He always turned his nose up at them, telling her that he didn't have to worry about his weight. She wrinkled her nose while she chopped, wryly saying, "Must be nice to have thighs that don't gain two inches for every indiscretion." She returned to the refrigerator one last time to pull out the bowl of cut vegetables that she kept full for snacks as well. Negotiating around the kitchen easily, she settled the tray, laden with all but the crackers and chips, carefully onto her knees and wheeled herself and the snacks to the living room. A check of the time told her it was getting late... 11:29. Resignation and mild annoyance battled for dominance as she decided he wasn't going to make it. Although she wondered if she should even bother, Barbara returned to the kitchen to retrieve the rest of the snacks. As she wheeled herself back through to the living room, her annoyance began to get the upper hand. Thudding the bowls down on the table, she grumbled, "I should have known better. Damn... he's *always* late! I should have told him to try for 11:00, and then maybe he would have POSSIBLY made it on time." She grimaced as she caught up the remote control to the TV and clicked on the New Year's celebration in Times Square on the music channel. At least they'd play music and not just be chatting. Maybe she'd phone Alfred early and they could toast in the New Year together, as it commenced. The thought depressed her. This was her first New Year with Dick as a couple, and she'd tried so hard to make it special. How could Dick just not show up? She rolled her eyes at herself, realizing she wasn't really upset. She was simply acting selfishly, wanting him here instead of out there. If he was late, it was likely because someone else's New Year might have a tragic beginning if he hadn't stopped to help whatever situation it was. "You're so predictable, Boy Wonder... I'll be surprised if you're not late for your own funeral, too busy kicking someone's butt to jail to arrive," she murmured softly in mixed resignation and amusement. "What, you're trying to kill me off and bury me already, Babs? Sheesh, and here I'm not even late!" Barbara jumped slightly, laughing as she turned to see Dick in full Nightwing regalia standing in her living room. "You made it!" Nightwing smirked, "I'd have made it sooner, if you weren't such a security fanatic, woman. I came through the back way." His eyes lingered over her from behind his mask, amusement and love in the azure depths. She raised both her eyebrows, eyes sparkling with mirth. "Oh terrific! How long did it take you this time? I love it when you test my systems." The double entendre was mild, accompanied by a wicked waggle of her eyebrows at him. Dick peeled the mask off his face with a chuckle, "It's actually pretty good... took me 20 minutes to figure out exactly what you'd done and another 15 to crack it. Good job." Barbara nodded, looking pleased with herself. A security system that could hold off Batman and his star protege was her aim, and it looked like she'd finally made it. "Excellent! That means I don't have to worry about getting mugged in my sleep," she teases. "Devising something better than that would be a pain, but maybe I'll do it sometime just to keep you on your toes." She grinned upward, admiring the tall, graceful form before her. More softly, sincerely, she continued, "I'm so glad you made it... I was starting to think that you'd gotten tied up." Dick winked playfully in return and moved to stand directly in front
of Barbara's chair, lowering himself to capture her lips in a Barbara blushed and put her hands up to cradle his cheeks, laughing softly, "I knew where the key was the whole time, I just wanted to see how long it took you to get out of them. If you'd been getting timed by Bruce, you'd have flunked." Dick made a sound that was probably muffled laughter and just kissed her lingeringly again. He murmured softly as he drew back, "Let me go change my clothes and then we'll have plenty of time to watch the ball drop and toast in the New Year." Barbara let him go reluctantly, her green eyes shining with happiness to see him. "Go on... I have some cheese and crackers, among other munchies. I thought you might have skipped dinner." Her tone was tender, and he touched the tip of her nose with his finger, promising, "Sounds great, I did. I'll be right back." Dick headed into the bedroom, already in the process of removing his skintight costume and heavy gauntlets. A shiver of anticipation passed through Barbara as she eyed the highly defined muscles of her lover's back. 'Wow, that man's just... hot!' She let her thoughts dwell on just how hot while he changed clothes in the other room. By the time Dick returned to the living room, the volume of the television was muted. Barbara was watching the picture for a moment as the cameras panned the crowd in Times Square, giving him a moment to just look at her. It was 11:37pm, and they had less than a half an hour before the ball dropped in Times Square. He wondered, not for the first time, when he'd ever been as happy as he was just this moment, his eyes lingering on Barbara's beautiful face for long seconds. Noticing his arrival, Barbara held the champagne bottle out, breaking into his reverie with a soft tone and a smile. "Hey you... are you awake over there?" He took the bottle from her with a wink, popping the cork with an efficient twist of his wrist, and poured the champagne into the two glasses set out and ready for the celebration. He allowed himself the private amusement of knowing that if the evening came off the way he planned, there would be still more cause for celebration. Dick took both glasses and moved to sit on the couch, leaving Barbara plenty of room to maneuver herself out of her wheelchair to join him there. Then, returning the glasses to her once she settled, he pulled her legs across his lap so that they were sitting as close as possible. He took his own glass back when they were both situated. Playfully, the two lovers shared the snacks set out in front of them, sipping their champagne with enjoyment. Most of the time, they ignored the TV, except to check the time occasionally. Barbara fed Dick choice tidbits from her fingers, and he returned the intimate favor. Laughter laced its way through the moments as Barbara made a face and refused to eat a bit here or there of the fat-filled foods that Dick devoured with appreciation. Dick refused to eat her "rabbit food" in retaliation, so a compromise was reached when she conceded defeat and ate several pieces pepperoni and some onion dip, forcing him to crunch on carrots. A disgusted face, of course, accompanied every crunch. The faces were as much a part of the ritual as sharing tidbits from each other's plates at dinner. Neither of them particularly disliked anything on the tray, it was just a game. As the clock ticked downward toward the New Year, Dick swallowed the bite he was eating and picked up his glass to hold it out. This was the moment he'd been working on for most of the day. He finally thought he had the speech right, and this was the crucial test. His voice took on a slightly deeper timbre than normal as he spoke. "I'd like to propose a New Year's toast as the ball falls." Barbara smiled easily and asked, "What toast?" She held her glass to the ready as she looked up into his eyes. Amazing how all the slight annoyances of just a half hour ago were gone in the contentment of just having him here with her. If she could choose a moment to live in forever, maybe this would be it. Dick touched the rim of his glass against hers and whispered while his intense blue eyes held her gaze captive, "Barbara... you've been the person that I trusted with my innermost secrets, both dreams and fears...." He swallowed hard, and continued, "You've always been my sanctuary, and losing you almost destroyed me." He paused, having trouble with the words though the sentiment behind them was evident. "Your pains and fears have always hurt me... and your strength has always humbled me." He reached out to touch a lock of her coppery hair, more sure of himself as he managed to get the words he'd rehearsed for three hours tonight on the rooftops out without tripping himself up. As the ball in Times Square began to drop, fifteen seconds remained in the old year and the crowd began to chant the countdown. Barbara's throat closed up with sudden insight. Tears shimmered in her eyes as she listened silently, her hand beginning to shake where it held her champagne glass. Dick smiled faintly, choked with emotion as he steadied her hand with his own rather shaky one. He made a false start, and then finished in a soft rush, "I've always known that I loved you, and I want to spend the rest of my life showing you. Will you marry me?" At the last word, he held his breath. Those weren't quite the words he wanted to say, there were so many more clogging his throat that he couldn't seem to push past the lump that resided there. He'd planned it all out... damn! Did he say all the important parts, he wondered frantically? He couldn't remember what he said and what he left out, his mind drawing a complete blank. Time held no meaning in those interminable moments of terror, with both of them frozen and looking into each other's eyes. His mind in that split second berated him for not waiting longer and practically screamed, 'What is she thinking?!' Barbara, for her part, looked as if she was at a complete loss for words. Her mind had made itself up sometime during the evening's ponderings over her life, but she couldn't seem to formulate words. Barbara managed to stifle the soft sob that rose in her throat, responding the only way she could, nodding her head slowly up and down in answer. For a long moment, Dick didn't quite comprehend. Then his expression turned ecstatic. "Yes? Yes?" Her nods continued more energetically and he leaned forward, kissing her passionately as the last two seconds of the old year elapsed and the new one began. Barbara's kiss was full of tenderness and tears, love and affection. Neither noticed that the champagne glasses had fallen to the floor and left puddles of the sparkling liquid to seep into the carpet. Wrapping his arms around her tightly, Dick tugged her carefully the rest of the way into his lap. She buried her face against his neck for a moment, cradled securely in haven of his arms, and then pulled slightly away to draw his mouth into a heated kiss, tongues mating with fervent passion. When they both finally drew back for air, she rested her forehead against his and whispered softly, "You gave me back something I never thought I'd have after I was shot. The faith to love and the security to say it to you. I love you, Dick Grayson." As she pulled away to meet his eyes, she had to smile. If she had to choose her moment for time to stop, she would choose this one instead. Her lips were crushed by the insistant ones of her lover, and she muzzily remembered briefly that she was going to call Alfred. The thought was promptly lost, the phone call not made for hours.... ----------------------------------------------- A New Year to remember, that's what this one would be, Barbara told herself. She'd thought that last year was the one that she'd be thankful for. And it was, it brought Dick Grayson back into her life, something which she would always remember. She would be grateful for last year, but the upcoming one had even more things in store. She smiled down at the exquisite diamond flanked by smaller, equally exquisite sapphires on her left ring finger. Dick had impeccable taste, and the future was so much more inviting than it had ever been before, beckoning to her with the promise of happiness. |
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