So, I’ve bought a few cheap PS2 games recently. Thought I’d copy them to the hard drive. So Dragon Quest VIII got ejected and in went the HDLoader disc. Ripped Michigan, Sega Classics and Splatter Master without incident. (Though I’ve not tested to see if they actually work yet.) Zombie Zone, though, wouldn’t copy. Got a fatal error every time I tried. So I booted it up off the disc to see if it would work. It did. I’m glad.

It’s a budget Japanese game brought out over here at a budget price.

You’re a young woman who’s been brought up by your Dad since your Mum passed away. He taught you fencing skills, which is useful as you’ve just found him dying. He’s also just told you that he’s been attacked by a sister you never knew you had and her zombie army. So you take your sword and run into battle. Unfortunately, it seems you forgot to put any clothes on… Okay, you’re not quite naked. You’ve got a cowboy hat on. And a bikini, which lets your breasts jiggle in a way that would embarrass any of the girls from Dead Or Alive.

You run around killing zombies. Lots of zombies. Fuck tons of zombies. I’ve just done the first level, which took forty-three minutes and I must’ve killed about, oh, sixteen billion? Seventeen billion? Something around there. There are normal attack, powerful attack, kick, jump, lock on and shake sword free of blood buttons.

Okay, so it’s not doing much beyond having you run around finding keys and killing zombies. And the camera isn’t great. But! There’s blood! Zombie legs stumble around! More blood! A girl with a sword in a bikini and cowboy hat! Killing zombies! And leaking blood when she’s injured! A huge fat zombie boss who you get to chop into little bits!

It’s a low budget zombie gore movie in game form. What’s not to love?

Go on, click this link and order a copy. It’s in stock. It’s £8.99. It’s got a nearly naked girl with a big sword slaughtering zombies. It doesn’t appeal to your higher instincts, the ones that make you try to read the book reviews in The Guardian when all you really want to do is read Charlie Brooker and then watch telly. Who cares? Treat yourself.

And, yes, it’s got a 60Hz mode.