I’m getting really annoyed with these idiots. Why the heck are they jumping out of planes and trying to land on boats when there are thunder storms, alien spacecraft and helicopters in the way? (Not to mention the sharks in the water, ready to eat them the moment they miss a landing.) Why? Can’t they just look down, see the peril below and decide to continue flying onwards, stay in the planes until they land and then maybe have a nice cup of tea? What do they think they’re doing? And why do some of them open their parachutes early and then float into great doom, while others will blithely plummet to a horrible death unless I tell them to open their chutes? Sometimes I just want to let them die in horrible ways, just to show them. I hate them. Every single one of them.


What’s so important on the boats? Are their loved ones being held for ransom by terrorists? Are the boats carrying gold? And who is that singing a taunting song at me when I lose five of them and the game ends? Is it the terrorists, sitting on piles of gold and executing terrorists?

And, most importantly, why do I keep going back, time after after time, trying my best to use my wind powers to blow the little guys to safety when the deserve all they get?

So many unanswered questions.

Actually, I can answer the last one. I keep going back because it’s a darn good game. Rock hard, sometimes completely unfair – there are times when I’m sure it’s impossible to save people who open their chutes early, just above a cloud – yet good. I don’t think it’s a great game, but it’s a good one, and more addictive than it probably should be. If an update makes it possible to save everyone if you’re good enough – or makes it clear that it’s already possible to save everyone, in the unlikely event that there’s something I’m missing – then it might yet be great. Right now, it’s well worth your fifty-nine pence… but then so are a lot of games.

(And ignore the high score in that screenshot above. I took it at the beginning of my second every game. I think my high score now is a mighty, er, 46, or something.)