PS3

Noby Noby Boy (iPhone/PS3)

Spend some Noby Noby Boy time on both versions over the weekend. The iPhone version had the most play overall, because I’ve always got it in the palm of my hand, but I had a great time with the PS3 version, too. Considering how simple both versions are, it’s amazing how long I can spend just playing with them. No goals, just simple toys.

Noby Noby Boy

Sir, we have captured the moon.

In the old days I might have messed around with a Rubik’s Cube, moving it around with no intention of solving it, or played around posing an action figure. Now I’ve got Noby Noby Boy. It certainly makes much more sense to think of both versions that way than to think of them as games.

Yakuza 3 Demo (PS3)

P’shaw. I know the Yakuza games are much-loved by the Japanese and the three or four westerners who bother to buy them, but it’s another demo that did nothing for me. I started the game, went into a club, watched a dull cut scene, then found myself in a big fight against multiple enemies. The fighting controls felt stodgy and I had no idea how to kill the main foe. His health bar never moved, but I managed to get him to whip out a sword by hitting him when he was at the top of some stairs. No idea why it only happened there, but it was the same in two attempts. In both attempts, I couldn’t work out how the hell I was meant to fight the guy when he had his sword out and so died quickly.

Might be a great demo to show off how things have changed to fans of the series, but it didn’t work for me at all. Much as I hate lengthy hand-holding tutorials, a little pop-up box of tactical hints now and again might have been nice.

Heavy Rain Demo (PS3)

I loved Fahrenheit, so was looking forward to Heavy Rain. The demo, though, was just a little disappointing. It’s all very depressing, seems to mostly consist of barely-interactive cut scenes and the one action scene in the demo went on for so long as to become quite funny. Also, the visuals are nice but dim and the voice acting it all right by video game standards, but not good enough for the moody noir feel the game seems to be going for.

I’m intrigued by it all, but the demo didn’t sell the game to me at all.

Marvel Vs. Capcom 2 (PS3)

I do wish Marvel Vs. Capcom 2’s Easy difficulty setting was a bit, you know, easier. It’s still great fun to play for ten minutes here and there, but it’s not the type of game I’m going to be sitting down to play for extended sessions. In the old days I would have, but in the last decade or so it’s gone from a main meal to a snack, so I won’t be getting the practice I used to. A difficulty setting where I could win more than one fight would be lovely – and I don’t even win the first fight most of the time.

I would blame the controller, but I don’t think that’s the real issue. I think I’m just older, out of practice and generally just worse at the game than I used to be. I’ve never been great at fighting games, but as I’ve pushed into my mid-thirties I’ve definitely seen a reduction in my reaction times in games like this. I’m a long, long way from only being able to play turn-based games, but I’ve not got the lightning fast thumbs I had in my youth.

Noby Noby Boy (iPhone/PS3)

Given the limitations of the app, I spent an awfully long time messing around with Noby Noby Boy last night. Just flicking BOY around and twisting him around objects, making him wander around photos and using the real-time view through the iPhone’s camera to have him crawl around my house.

Noby Noby Boy

Wife, you've got something on your face there.

I also gave the PS3 version a quick go. I visited Jupiter for the first time and had fun in a rainbow tube. Then I just reported my length to GIRL – I wish there was a way to link iPhone and PS3 accounts – and went to bed.

Marvel Vs. Capcom 2 (PS3)

Marvel Vs. Capcom 2 is one of those games that I remember very fondly from my Dreamcast games. (I’ve even got the strategy guide stuffed away in a cardboard box somewhere.)

After all, who couldn’t love a game where you can have Ryu, Wolverine and Jill Valentine facing off against Dr Doom, Venom and Mega Man? And it’s all built around and insane Capcom fighting engine that goes all out and ends up reaching ridiculous heights. Maybe it’s not the most technical Capcom game, maybe not the best balanced, but it’s pretty bloody awesome.

So when I saw it was half price on the PlayStation Store this week and cost a mere £5.49 I had to go for it.

It succeeded in putting a huge grin on my face, even as I faffed around on the character select screen trying to choose a team, and the grin didn’t fade when I started playing. I’ve forgotten all the moves – except for the obvious ones from the Street Fighter guys and gals – but there’s nothing wrong with rediscovery.

I was, however, a bit shocked at the difficulty level, even on Easy. Either my memory’s playing tricks on me, I’ve lost all my skills or this version is a lot harder than the old one. Whatever’s going on, in the twenty minutes I had to play around last night, I only managed to win one fight.

Hopefully it’ll all come back to me, but if it not then it’s still worth it for the spectacle and the fanboy glee of it all.

Now, on payday, maybe I’ll look into getting some sort of fighting pad. The ASCII fighting pad I had for the Dreamcast was a treasure. I wonder if there’s anything that good – and cheap! – out for the PS3?

ModNation Racers Beta (PS3)


No, seriously. The game made me sick. Okay, I didn’t actually vomit, but after one online race I felt like doing so. Not because it’s an awful game, but just because the framerate was absolutely terrible. I felt very, very ill after playing and had to turn off the console and couldn’t play anything else for the rest of the evening. Horrible.

Shame, as I like what I see, outside of the problems. It’s got nice customisation, a Puzzlings-esque art style and I rather enjoyed the time trial I tried, where the framerate was pretty bad, but not sickeningly so.

There’s definitely potential for a fun little kart racer, but only if the framerate’s improved enough so it doesn’t make me feel physically sick.

Ten Best Games of 2009

Normal blogging will be resumed shortly, but to mark the new year, here are the best ten games of 2009… that I played. (So no Modern Warfare 2 or Uncharted 2, for example.) It was hard to whittle it down to a top ten, but I think I got there. Unfortunately, it means that 33rd Division, Scribblenauts, Angry Birds, Ridge Racer Accelerated, Doom Classic, Borderlands and even the mighty Demon’s Souls, Minigore and Orbital got left out.

Assassin’s Creed 2 (360)

I loved the first Assassin’s Creed game, but the sequel is on a completely different level. It’s tuned to perfection, with the developers having learnt the lessons of the first game and it’s absolutely packed with things to do. You can’t move more than three feet in town without encountering a side mission, treasure chest, shop, random chase, glyph or feather. Everything’s interesting, everything’s fun, there’s a decent script that’s not afraid to be funny now and again (“It’s me, Mario!”) and it’s absolutely beautiful. Best of all, I’m nowhere near done with it, so it’ll last me well into 2010.

Batman: Arkham Asylum (PS3)

If I had to choose one single Game of the Year, there’s no doubt that it would be Batman: Arkham Asylum. Influenced by the best comics and cartoons, it’s the first game that really, truly lets you be Batman. Batman’s not going to get hurt in a fight with a thug, but make him fight six at a time and he needs to be careful. And if those thugs have got guns, well, he’ll have to take them out without being seen. All the gameplay elements mesh together perfectly – with the exception of a few of the boss fights – and I’ll remember the setting and Mark Hamill’s Joker for a long, long time to come, even if I’ve already forgotten some of the details of the actual story. Brilliant.

Canabalt (iPhone)


If I were doing hardware awards, the iPhone would be running away with them. My scepticism of the device as a games machine disappeared within days of getting one. I even like virtual sticks and buttons now. But the first iPhone game to make this alphabetical list doesn’t need any of those. Instead, you just tap on the screen everytime you want to jump. It’s simple, yes, but only dimwits would see that as a bad thing. You run, you jump and you inevitably die. And then you come back for another go. The randomly-generated levels keep things tense and it looks and sounds incredible.

Flower (PS3)

Breathtaking. Flower sees you become a god or spirit and takes you on a incredible journey. It’s something of a miracle that the big brick of technology that is the Playstation 3 can make you feel such a part of nature. To describe the story would be an injustice – and I expect everyone has their own interpretation. The gentle glides, the swoops, the windmills and pylons and cities and grass and flowers… it’ll all stay with me a long, long time.

Fuel (360)

The game I’ve always wanted in my head now exists in real life. It’s a huge, sprawling mess of America, where driving for hours with no goal in mind is a simple joy. It’s a game you remember. Riding bikes down impossibly huge cliffs, picking your way round the shallows of a lake at night, watching the sun break over a burned forest… like most of the games in this list, this is an exceptional game not just for the pure rush of the gaming moment, but in the way the sights, sounds and feelings remain long after you’ve stopped playing. And, you know, it didn’t hurt that many of the races were brilliantly-designed, requiring knowledge of the environment and vehicles to succeed. A towering single-player achievement, it’s just a shame that the online didn’t quite live up to expectations.

Gran Turismo (PSP)

I only got this a few days before the end of the year, but after many hours of playing on the sofa and in bed, I knew it had to make this list. The driving model is exciting (though you’d be forgiven for thinking otherwise before playing with the settings) and there are a huge number of cars and tracks. What really makes it for me, though, is the structure. Instead of a career mode you’re just given some basic modes and can choose any of the tracks to race on. By racing you earn more money to buy new cars. There’s nothing forced on you, you can just buy the cars you think look interesting and take them round your favourite tracks. What to see how a 1954 2CV handles Laguna Seca? Well, off you go – and you’ll even get some money for it. Absolutely exceptional.

Killzone 2 (PS3)

You like shooting people in the face? Of course you do! Killzone 2 understands this. It gives you great guns and great enemies and makes amazing set pieces out of them. It takes a while to get into, but once you’ve wormed your way inside, you won’t want to get out. Perfectly paced and just as long as it needs to be, Killzone 2 is an absolute triumph of the simple joy of putting bullets into bad guys.

Noby Noby Boy (PS3)

Initially, it seems like it’ll probably be fun for ten minutes, but no more. There aren’t any real goals (beyond hunting for trophies, if you feel like it) there’s just a random level and the stretching, twisting, ever-hungry Boy. You move around, eat things, knock things over and just play for the simple joy of play. And it doesn’t seem to get old. You always expect it to, but every time you go back, it still grabs you and a quick five minutes turns into an hour and a half without you noticing – or caring. Criminally overlooked and incredibly cheap, Noby Noby Boy deserved much, much better.

Prinny: Can I Really Be The Hero? (PSP)

Hard as nails – you might well lose all your 1,000 lives before completing the game – but never malicious, Prinny is an odd game. It’s an old school platformer spin-off from a series of strategy games and shouldn’t really work. If you believe the reviewers who skated the surface without finding their way inside, it was a failure. But those reviewers are wrong. It’s a huge game, packed with humour and secrets and, crucially, death is always your own fault. Quite frankly, if you like running, jumping and pounding things with your bottom, there wasn’t a better game released this year.

Words With Friends (iPhone)


The online multiplayer hit of the year, I’ve played this every day for months now. Heavily based on Scrabble, Words With Friends doesn’t bother with any fluff, but just lets you play the game against other people with a minimum of fuss. Portable game of the year, without a shadow of a doubt.

Brütal Legend Demo (PS3)

Now this is more like it!

A properly, actually, excellent game with swearing and metal and heads flying and genuinely funny comedy cut scenes and a car that’s on fire and a beautiful cartoon lady and killing people with guitars and it just plain rocks. Hard.

Of course, it’ll probably have some terrible levels and awful boss fights, judging by Psychonauts, which was a great game ruined by too many difficulty spikes, but I loved this demo. Loved it.

And I want more. Lots more.

Star Wars: The Clone Wars Republic Heroes Demo (PS3)

By the standards of licensed children’s tat, this isn’t bad.

There are two missions – a Clone mission which is a scrolling twin-stick shooter and a Jedi mission which feels a bit like Lego Star Wars without the the Lego.

I enjoyed myself, but if a game’s got “Star Wars” in the title then I can enjoy anything that reaches a fairly low threshold of competence.

I suspect that the game’s not nearly as good as I think it is and I just got blinded by battle droids and light sabers.