Totally rad, dude! I like, totally, nailed some wicked lines yesterday evening! Word to your mother!

See, I can talk like a youth person…

::blinks::

::strokes beard::

::ponders::

…but I never will again.

I’m thirty-six years old. In a survey the other day all the age ranges were about ten years until mine – which was 36-64. Thanks for that, pollsters. Way to make me feel old.

Anyway, that’s by the by. In the world of Skate It, I can still look like a appallingly-dressed twenty-something, albeit one made out of about six polygons.

Skate It

Looking like a fool...

I can also perform crazy stunts that my obese, failing body would never let me perform in real life. (And I can fall of my skateboard in a manner that would result in feeding tubes and comas.)

Is that the appeal of skateboarding games, though? Not for me, no. The appeal is purely as a video game, rather than a simulation of real world desires. I like to complete goals – whether set for me by the game, or ones I’ve set myself – and the skating is just a vehicle for interesting game mechanics and controls.

I think.

But maybe there’s a part of me that really wishes I could skateboard. Maybe it is feeding on my ever-growing sense of my own mortality. Maybe I’m on the downward slope to my midlife crisis Harley.

Probably not, though. I may be older than I was, but I’m still not, you know, old. And I’d get a Harley today if I could afford it – and thought I could ride it without falling off. (I’m pretty much never happier than on a long road trip in America. The open road of the USA appeals to me, deep down in my core.) Midlife crises are for people who regret growing up. I’ve never really grown up and don’t ever intend to, so I think I’m safe.