::whimpers::

It does what it says on the tin.

It zooms by at an incredible speed – except when it locks you in a room and tells you to kill a certain number of enemies or when it inexplicably turns into Streets of Rage – and it’s on two screens and sometimes you stay on the same screen and some time you don’t and Sonic dances to the funky new music and does ‘rad’ tricks in mid-air and there are THREE buttons to worry about instead of one and and and and…

This is not your father’s Sonic.

Except, in other ways, it’s absolutely identical to every 2D Sonic game ever. Run left to right and straight into enemies and lose your rings and then kill the enemies and then miss the one annoying jump per level that makes you fall off the bottom and die and the voice of Tails is still extremely irritating and and and…

Well, it’s Sonic to the EXTREME and also to the MAX. Dudes.

I expect a new character called Poochie in the sequel.