Why do I bother? I saw there was a new level for Pain, so I paid my £3.99 and waited while the 37MB downloaded and installed. Didn’t take too long, but when I started Pain it said I had to download another 211MB update before I could play the game. No choice, it was mandatory.

So here I am, sitting on the sofa, waiting for a huge bloody patch to download. Unlike other downloads, you even set this to download in the background while you do other stuff.

Will I actually get to play the game today? Who knows?