A Gaming Diary
PS2
Dragon Quest VIII
Dec 30th
Popped it in for a ‘quick go’ that lasted well over three hours.
Seems like a decent RPG, if nothing very special yet, but the almost complete lack of save points is an act of utterly idiocy which may well mean I don’t play it much once I’m back into a normal routine and not sat on holiday.
Why can’t we at least have a suspend option if there are any actual reasons for us not saving anywhere we want?
Shadow Of The Colossus
Nov 20th
Well, phew.
Colossi seven and eight disposed of.
Number seven didn’t take very long.
Number eight… did. Over an hour, in fact. Firstly because it took me ages to work out what I should be doing. (I wasn’t missing the obvious, I don’t think, but the solution did make sense once I figured it out.) Then it took ages to actually kill the bugger once I knew how. Not helped by the fact that I got careless when I’d got him down to a sliver of health and then had to start all over again. I think that was my least favourite out of all the ones so far, but it was still good fun. It just wasn’t as awesome as the others. A bit too small, I think, a bit too standard.
The music in this game is something special too. It wouldn’t be nearly as atmospheric and intense without it.
Anyway, phew. Bed time soon, I think. Certainly no more gaming.
Shadow Of The Colossus
Nov 19th
Wow.
Four, five and six down.
Four and five were superb. Not too hard, but great fun and, yes, very intense.
(The only time I’ve died so far is on the first colossus when I didn’t know what I was doing.)
Number six, however, has just taken me about an hour. Why? Because I am an idiot. I was thinking the camera was unhelpful and the difficulty had spiked alarmingly and the control system wasn’t up to the job… but I was also thinking that I might have missed something obvious. And I had. I’d missed something completely, utterly, blindingly obvious. Something so obvious that I’d actually noticed it at the beginning of the fight and then, er, forgotten about it when it mattered. As soon I’d worked that out, he went down easily.
Great, great game. If you can play North American Playstation 2 games you have to play this.
Shadow Of The Colossus
Nov 19th
My God.
This is brilliant.
I’ve just beaten the first three colossi and I’ve only turned off because I’m exhausated.
I’ll just get the annoyances out of the way first.
ANNOYANCE ONE – Right, I got very pissed off with it earlier when I couldn’t make a jump. There was a jump I knew I had to make because it was the only way to go. I just couldn’t do it, though, and every time I failed it took a couple of minutes to get back to try again. (The character you play is a very slow swimmer.) Turned out in the end that I’d been pushing the joystick in slightly the wrong direction and that there’s actually a nice visual clue to show you when you’re pointing in the right direction. So that was my fault, really.
ANNOYANCE TWO – Um, I suppose the horse controls can be a bit clumsy at times.
ANNOYANCE THREE – Er, nope, I’m stuck now. I’ve not even noticed any of the framerate issues people have been going on about.
So that’s what’s wrong with it. What’s right with it?
GOOD THING ONE – It looks gorgeous. You can see the compromises made to fit it into the PS2 hardware – which is poncy videogame twat talk for ‘it looks like a Playstation 2 game because it is’ – but the design and the lighting and everything are astounding. The colossi themselves look wonderful. The hair looks great, they’re huge and they’ve got real personality. (The personality is basically: “Huh? What’s going on? I’ve just woken up and some little bastard’s firing arrows at me. Bugger off, kid! Get away with you!”)
GOOD THING TWO – The controls work properly and you can invert them both horizontally and veritically as you see fit.
GOOD THING THREE – The battles are going to make every boss battle in every other game ever seem lame. I’ve never played anything like it. They’re puzzles, as much as anything, where you have to work out how to get to the colossis’ weak spots. Each one takes ages. There’s the initial part when you’re feeling it out and running away to recover health, which has a rhythm all of its own. And then there’s the part where you jump on to the colossus and things get…
GOOD THING FOUR – Intense. That’s the word that most leaps out while playing. (Shortly followed by ‘fun’ and ‘awesome’.) Clambering over these huge beings is breath-taking. And when one shakes you loose and you slam your finger on to L1 and just manage to grab a a piece of rock sticking out of the beast’s head and get shaken around a hundred feet above the ground, well, there just aren’t any words for it. It’s something new entirely.
There’s always a chance the difficulty curve will be all out of whack and I’ll have to give up on this before the end, but first impressions are that this is another absolute classic. A real one. A touchstone game that we’ll look back on and which will seem to define this generation.
The Playstation is as much about ICO and Shadow of the Colossus as it is FIFA and Need For Speed. Let’s not forget that.
We Love Katamari
Oct 15th
So, I wanted to play something before bed. Couldn’t think what, so I turned on the PS2, went down the list of games on the hard drive, nothing looked interesting… until Katamari! Perfect!
I started up and had a nice easy kind of bonus level rolling up a snowman’s head.
I should have left it there, but I had to go and try another level. From 20cm to 12m in 12 minutes. I got up to 9m. Oh. Very angry King. Ran away.
We Love Katamari
Sep 27th
I just properly fell in love with this game.
Previously, I liked hanging out with it and wasn’t averse to the odd bunk up and, sure, I loved it in a way, but now I’m completely in love.
It was the Hansel & Gretal level that did it. The simplest and easiest level so far. There’s nothing to it at all. But just the design of the house and the greatness of the concept just worked some magic on me and now I’m in love.
Even if I just let a fire go out twice and had lasers shot at me for my troubles.
We Love Katamari
Sep 27th
Dear Girlfriend,
I’m so sorry I missed our date today. I know, I know, but it’s been a strange diary, even by my standards. I was on my way to see you, trying to mind my own business, when a tiny Sumo wrestler approached me and asked for my help. Of course, he actually meant he wanted my father’s help. I’m nothing to these people – nothing! I do all the work, all the rolling, yet it’s my father who gets the praise, the fans, the glory. I don’t know how much longer I can stand it.
But my father forced me into helping him again. He made me roll this Sumo wrestler around the town picking up food that had been left lying around. I got hit by a train several times because chicken legs had been left on the railway line, but I’m okay. Just a bit sore. This guy ate and ate. He even ate some children I ran into by mistake. Oh God, darling, I’m a murderer! I don’t want to do this! I don’t want to live this life! I want to be good! I want to paint! Maybe teach! Not this endless rolling, rolling, rolling. I’m a thief and a killer!
My father had only given me five minutes to get this Sumo guy up to size and by that time I’d failed. Everything went black and my father appeared above me, terrifying to behold. And then the laser bolts shot from his eyes, something I’ve seen before. He was so mad at me! I ran, trying to evade his terrible discipline, but some of the bolts hit. It was burning agony like I’ve never felt. My poor raw hide! He hit just the spots left raw by the train hits. So I tried again and again I failed him and his rage was no less brutal.
And again I tried and this time I realised I had to take the Sumo wrestler to his match before the five minutes was up. He beat his opponent and my father was all sweetness and light and let me go. I ran all the way to the cinema, but by the time I got there, you’d gone. I’m really sorry.
I know we’ve talked about this, how I should run away, let one of cousins take over my duties, that the way my father treats me is wrong. But I can’t help going back. He’s my father, and he’s King of the Cosmos and I’d never be able to hide. I love you, but like it or not, this is my life. I hope you can accept that. I’ve learned to, in time I’m sure you will, too.
Maybe you should come round for dinner one day, so I can introduce you? Please, reply soon. I miss you.
Your Love,
The Prince
Castlevania: Lament of Innocence
Sep 27th
PRO: It’s Castlevania!
CON: In 3D!
Not played this before despite having it for years, but I’m home sick, so thought I’d give it a go.
Starts with some annoyingly long cut scenes. I really don’t see the point. Maybe fanboys will get some sad geek shivers at seeing this Belmont being given a whip, but… hang on, hang on! I’m a geek and I didn’t get any sad geek shivers. Cut scene failure, then.
Once into the game – oh, sweet interactivity! – you run around whipping monsters and jumping around. Unfortunately, while you can normally whip what you want to – as long as the camera is gracious enough to show you your target – jumping is incredibly imprecise. Which probably explains why there’s not a lot of it. Just enough to be really very annoying, mind.
Anyway, I got to some red skeleton guys who kept coming back to (un)life while a giant eyeball shot laser vision at me and I died. And I didn’t fancy restarting from the last time I bothered saving, so I gave up.
Plus, I’ve already got a Dual Shock finger blister. Stupid dangerous Sony controllers.
We Love Katamari
Sep 24th
An aptly named game if ever there was one.
Because everyone who’s played Katamari Damacy loves it. Well, everyone I know. I’m sure there are people out there who don’t like it. Weirdos.
I’ve just played through a few levels of this and it’s really not very different from the original. The Katamari still feels big and unweildy, the graphics are still pastel and blocky in style, the level design is still, superb the soundtrack is still great, the cut scenes are still hatstand mad and the presentation is still wonderfully quirky.
It’s the next chapter, basically, not a whole different book.
But it doesn’t matter because I love Katamari.
I’ve not failed a mission yet, but I’m getting really fed up of all the people I indulge complaining about how small my balls are, A man could get a complex.
And if you don’t know what Katamari is all about, then I really don’t know why you’re reading this. Not in a “get out, you’re not worthy, you non-gamer!” type of way. I just really can’t imagine that anyone’s going to come to this page who doesn’t know what Katamari Damacy is all about.
But if you need to know: You play a tiny Prince who has roll a knobbly ball around that picks up everything that touches it, as long as it’s smaller than the ball. The aim of the game is to roll a lot of things up. And that’s about it. From drawing pins to the stars themselves, anything’s fair game as long as you’ve got your ball, or Katamari, to the required size. The challenge comes from working out paths through levels to get as much as possible as quickly as possible.
And it’s all a great big bundle of joy.
