InvertY.com
A Gaming Diary
Twin Blades (iPhone)
Jun 28th
Tried the boss again.
Went through earlier levels to become more powerful.
Tried the boss again.
Gnnnnnnnnnnnnnnng...
No luck, very annoying.
So I’m really not sure why I’ve not deleted the game yet, but some strange force beyond my understanding is keeping it on my iPhone.
The Red Star Lite (iPhone)
Jun 25th
Conversion of a cult favourite that came out on the PS2 and, I believe, the Xbox. (I had the PS2 version, but didn’t play it very much – I don’t even seem to have blogged about it.)
It’s a fairly impressive conversion, too. There’s quite a lot of slowdown on my 3GS – no iPhone 4 for me… ever, I doubt – but it’s by no means unplayable. The controls also work really well – there’s been a lot of thought put into these. Shame the instructions still talk about the PS2 buttons at times, but it’s not a big deal. The Lite version also has a lot of game in it. I’ve not managed to finish it yet.
Mostly it's a scrolling beat/shoot-em-up, but sometimes it's a straight bullet hell shooter.
The main problem is that the game lacks checkpoints. Every time I’ve died I’ve had to start back the beginning of the first level, had to read the same text, had to fight the same enemies, had to face off against the same mid-boss, etc. I remember it being slightly shocking on the PS2, on the iPhone it just doesn’t work.
So why do I keep going back?
Shaolin Training (iPhone)
Jun 25th
So, the developer messaged me and told me that his game was free for a few days and it’d be nice if I downloaded it.
So I did.
And what can I say? It’s the best monk-themed, physics-based, crate-tipping game that I’ve ever played. EVER.
Fly, boxes, fly!
You’re a little monk chap, there are lots of crates and boxes on the level. You have to run around and push them off the level, while not falling off yourself. Not falling is made more difficult by all the cannonballs being fired at you, but just running off the level like an idiot is always a danger.
The controls work well enough, though getting in just the right position to push smaller boxes can be a pain. The recharging special move is nice.
It hasn’t set my world on fire, but I have been going back. How long I’m keep going back, though, remains to be seen.
Twin Blades (iPhone)
Jun 25th
Apparently, Twin Blades has had a huge update since I last played it, but I’m not entirely sure what’s different. Possibly the story wasn’t there before. Maybe the upgrade shop is different. I can’t really remember.
Killing zombies all day long, la la la la.
Regardless of the changes, the core gameplay seems to be the same as I remember. Run to the right, kill everything in your way in a glorious spray of blood and ashes. It’s fantastic fun in short bursts, but there’s a problem.
Arrrrghhhhhhh!
Yep, that’s a boss. A great, mean fucker of a boss. Oh, yes, I’m sure I could (a) go back and level up or (b) get some fucking skills, but I’m not sure I’ve got the will for it. The game’s still on my iPhone, but it’s hanging on by the skin of its teeth right now.
Rogue Planet (iPhone)
Jun 23rd
It’s a bit like Advance Wars, but with less charm, based on doing the first one and a half missions.
One and a half?
Why, yes. And, yes, maybe it should be hyphenated, I’m really not sure.
You see, in the first (non-combat) mission, it told me I could blow up bridges. So I did. In the second mission, I saw lots of enemies advancing, so blew up the bridge again. (It’s the same map, the bridge was magically repaired between missions.) That was fine. It slowed the enemy advance and meant I could pick them off when they were in the river.
Yesterday upon the stair I met a bridge that wasn't there.
But then my last soldier unit died. And vehicles can’t cross water. I was left with a bunch of tanks and stuff on one side of the river, the enemy had a mecha unit on the other side. No ranged attacks for either side, no way over the river… stalemate. The game didn’t notice, though, so days passed while neither of us did anything – and then I quit.
That, along with a generally-good-but-sometimes-annoying touch interface and TOO MANY WORDS BETWEEN MISSIONS meant that I deleted the game from my phone. It doesn’t take much at the moment.
Still, it’s very polished and it was free, so I’m not going to cuss it out. Just, right now, I do not feel the need of it.
Prince of Persia Retro (iPhone)
Jun 23rd
I bought this very game for my Sega Master System when I was in my second year of my degree. I wrote down the level codes as I went along… then finished the game the day I got it. So I carefully snipped the page of the manual I’d scrawled the codes on and took the game back to Our Price on Broad Street and they gave me a refund.
Slightly underhanded, that was.
You utter, utter bastard, Prince.
Anyway, the iPhone version may be the same game with different graphics – it’s so long ago that any differences are invisible to me – but I just can’t get used to the iPhone controls and keep missing jumps and getting very frustrated.
Deleted, yes.
Plushed (iPhone)
Jun 23rd
Nice little platformer, but I ran out of pizza so couldn’t open a snake and deleted the game in a fit of pique.
Sorry, Plushed, you probably deserved better.
Stuck. Bollocks. Can't be bothered to restart level.
You also probably a deserve a longer blog post, explaining the mechanics and talking about the graphics and all that stuff, but this is all you’re getting.
Feel free to feel deeply aggrieved – especially as I downloaded you when you were free.
Warpgate (iPhone)
Jun 23rd
This was GREAT and BRILLIANT and then I never played it again.
I love my space ship when it's not blowing up.
So time to dump it from my iPhone?
Well, no, because I tried it again and got sucked in. Took a while to relearn the interface, but I got there without having to restart. Still died horribly whenever combat happened, but I decided to try and stay out of fights and spread my religion quietly and without bother. I don’t think I’m going to be able to do that, though. I need to try and convert people in enemy space now.
It’s a worry.
SimCity (iPhone)
Jun 23rd
Oh! A surprise! I was ready to delete SimCity from my phone, but decided I should give it a chance first.
A thriving metropolis... possibly.
I loaded up Tutorial City, which I’d carried on playing after it had taught me all it knew, and built a fire station. And a house for me. And Big Ben. And then I worried about how to balance the budget. And then I noticed loops of road and rail weren’t actually connected up properly and I wondered how to fix that. And then I saw demand for Industrial was very high and wondered where to put more of that, because I didn’t want to ruin my residential land prices.
So, yeah, SimCity is staying on my phone for now. I’ll probably not play it again for months, but it’s a good game and it’s nice to know it’s there.
Space Miner (iPhone)
Jun 23rd
I came to an understanding with Space Miner last night.
I agreed that it wasn’t a bad game at all, it agreed that it just wasn’t for me.
Hunting the last asteroid on a level is just plain horrid.
It’s not you, Space Miner, it’s me. I like you, I do, but your dialogue and controls get right on my big, wobbly man tits.
I’ll delete you from my phone, you’ll go on giving fun to the thousands of people who love you.
Bye.
