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A Gaming Diary
OMG Pirates! Lite (iPhone)
Feb 4th
It’s a fun hack and slash game with lovely graphics. You’re a little ninja chap and dastardly pirates are invading, so you have to kill them all. The combat’s very much timing-based and, frankly, I’m not very good it. Both times that I played through the demo I got what I assume is the lowest possible ranking for the first level.
Stupid pirates. Always making a nuisance of themselves.
It all looks and feels good, actually, but this Lite doesn’t have a boss fight. This type of game lives and dies on its bosses – too hard and they spoil the whole experience – so I’m very wary of spending any money without having a go at one of them.
I like what I see, but it’s what I don’t see that worries me.
Super Monkey Ball 2 (iPhone)
Feb 4th
Here’s a thing. I’m actually getting better at this. Yes, yes, I know that’s how games are meant to work, but I tend to find that once I’m through the tutorial for a game my skill level is set. Games where I feel myself improve are rare things – Bayonetta is one, Super Monkey Ball 2 appears to be another. Just knowing that I’m improving is enough to make this a little bit special for me, even though it’s just another Monkey Ball.
Not the most difficult part of the game, this.
I loved it at first as the nostalgia rush kicked in, then I remembered how much the game makes me shout, swear, grunt and sigh. I make more noise playing Monkey Ball than any other game. I curse those little primates over and over again as they fall. I love them really, but I don’t half get mad at them.
It’s lucky I’m not the controller-throwing type, or an iPhone-based Monkey Ball would be a very dangerous thing indeed.
Treasure Madness (Web)
Feb 4th
A sudden flash of inspiration last night and I realised what Treasure Madness really is – it’s a scratch card with mini games.
That’s basically it. Each map is just a giant scratch card where you win XP and HP and things to complete meaningless collections. The collecting is the point of the game and the game itself.
You even level up in each mini game separately. The game has lots of lovely, lovely numbers.
Still, I like doing scratch cards and I like watching numbers increase – I played The Linear RPG for far longer than it took to get the joke – so Treasure Madness suits me. A few clicks every few hours, some new items, some bright colours and the odd mini game.
It’s the bowl of peanuts on the gaming bar that you munch while waiting for a foaming pint of real game, basically.
Super Monkey Ball 2 (iPhone)
Feb 3rd
I’d like to talk to about bananas.
Bananas are good, because collecting ten of them gives you an extra life.
Bananas are also good, because if you collect all ten on a level without losing a life you get a little crown icon for that level. (I think that getting all the crowns would result in something wonderful happening, but that’s never, ever going to happen.)
You've not even got enough polygons to be properly curved. I hate you.
Bananas are bad, though, because I keep on trying to collect them and find myself running out of time or, more often, falling off the level. Easy levels take life after life as I get distracted by the curvy yellow bastards and fall screaming to my doom.
Overall, then, I think bananas are a bad thing and award them a mark of 23%.
SONG SUMMONER: The Unsung Heroes – Encore (iPhone)
Feb 3rd
So, I couldn’t decide what to play. I looked around my many screens of games and nothing leapt out at me. So I decided to choose at random. I went to my iPhone’s search screen, closed my eyes, jabbed at a random point on the on-screen keyboard, then touched a random spot above the keyboard to open a random game.
The first one was YouTube. Not a game.
The second one was my contacts information for Richard Gaywood. Not a game.
The third one was Song Summoner, or, to give it its full title, that monstrous bit of text you can see in the title of this post.
I have to admit, I was disappointed. I didn’t really want to play it. Seemed like too much effort. Rules are rules, however, so I loaded my last save.
Thanks for the trooper, Hank III!
First off, I had to watch as all my troops got points based on the music I’ve played in the last month. I got quite a few level increases, but I’m not really listening to the songs I made troops from any more, so it wasn’t as good as it could have been.
After getting everybody leveled, I decided to play one of the maps I’d played before, to try and refresh my memory. Took a decent selection of troops in (soldier, monk and mage) and slaughtered the enemy with surprising ease.
That done, I went to the next story location on the map. I’d expected a fight, but instead I got some cut scenes and found a new town.
The story and dialogue makes me want to die, frankly.
After telling me all about The Joshua Tree – the next location for the story – one of the characters advised me to hit the rehearsal room before venturing on.
So I did. I took my Hip Hop Monk (generated from classic rap track, er, Sweet Caroline) and ran him through the Easy and Normal levels in the rehearsal room. I got him up from a Silver rank to a Gold, which means better stats, but Platinum is a long way away.
The rehearsal room. I'm going to bash a robot's face off.
That’s about it. I’m glad I played the game again. It’s not as good as the epic Final Fantasy Tactics on the DS, but it’s decent enough. I do spend all the time I’m playing wondering why Nippon Ichi haven’t ported Disgaea over to the iPhone, though.
Super Monkey Ball 2 (iPhone)
Feb 3rd
It’s been a long time since I played any Monkey Ball. Too long, I reckon. I love the little simian chaps and their crazy floating worlds. Also, some of my fondest gaming memories are of playing Monkey Bowling, drunk, falling asleep between each throw.
Argh! Stupid monkey! Stay away from that hole!
So why it’s taken me quite so long to get the iPhone version, I don’t know. Okay, so the first release was meant to be a bit rubbish, but this second game has been getting good reviews and includes the mighty Monkey Bowling, so what was I waiting for?
Well, mainly some calibration options. With a tilt-based game like this, you’d think the developers would have set it so that “flat” was set to the angle you were holding your iPhone at when the level started. Would that be so difficult? I guess so, because Super Monkey Ball 2 doesn’t do it. However, it’s not so bad, really, because “flat” is set at a sensible gaming playing angle – you don’t have to hold the iPhone horizontally or anything stupid like that. It’s fine for playing on the sofa and almost – but not quite – playable when lying down in bed.
Of course, even when you’re at the correct angle, the controls aren’t as precise as the Gamecube’s analogue stick. They feel right, though, in an indefinable way. You’ve not got the same level of control, but the tilting never feels wrong to me and I haven’t (yet) blamed the accelerometer for any deaths.
The main game is split up into different worlds and then further broken down into sets of ten levels. It’s good stuff and the quick start option when you load the game means you get back into it very quickly. It’s perfectly possible to load it up and play a level or two in a commercial break.
Strikes are few and far between - if you're me.
The only mini game available right now is Monkey Bowling. (Though Target and Golf are said to be on the way.) It uses a touch and tilt control method that’s far removed for the controls used in the Gamecube version, but which still works well and, crucially, still feels like Monkey Bowling. It doesn’t save your single player high scores, which is a bit annoying, but I don’t mind too much.
Overall, it’s a great little package so far. Whether the levels will get too complicated for the control scheme in later levels I don’t know, but so far my complaints are only minor.
Treasure Madness (Web)
Feb 3rd
My wife loves games, which is helpful. These days she mostly plays the social games on Facebook, the likes of the all-conquering Farmville and the, er, some-conquering Fish Isle. The one that’s always looked most interesting to me when I’ve glance over her shoulder is Treasure Madness. It’s a map-based collect-em-up. You click squares on a map and maybe you find some gold, food or treasure. Sometimes you get to play a mini game, maybe a Bejeweled clone or a Puzzle Bobble clone or, well, a clone of something else.
Must... click... mouse... must... find... treasure...
Yesterday I decided to have a go. It’s decent fun, actually. It’s free to play, but there’s a catch. Every time you click a square to search it, it uses up some of your HP. Once you’re out, you have to wait for it to regenerate. It takes thirty seconds or so to recover one HP and it costs about ten of them to search a single square. You can add HP with fruit you find, or fill it right above your maximum by using a health kit. Health kits can be bought with Museum Dollars, which you get for completing sets of treasures and other things I can’t remember right now. (Or for spending ACTUAL MONEY or completing MARKETING SURVEYS or for signing up to SPECIAL OFFERS, which is obviously how the publishers make their money. I’m steering clear of all that, thank you.)
So your playing time is very limited, which is annoying, but probably a good thing. I could see myself clicking away glassy-eyed until the early hours of the morning if the game didn’t force me to stop. The drip feed of treasures and leveling up and mini games could be very dangerous indeed.
Anyway, my HP has refilled to maximum, so I’m going to pop on over to Key Island again, see what I find.
Assassin’s Creed II Discovery (iPhone)
Feb 3rd
This is starting to get a bit trickier now and I’m still quite near the beginning. Last night I had to chase a rogue through the streets of Barcelona, only to find myself at a door at the end of the level that I couldn’t get through. (Yes, I’m a trained assassin who can’t open doors – I love you, videogames!)
The rogue would then catch up with me. (Yes, I had to chase her by staying ahead of her – I love you, videogames!) She’d burst through the door and I’d fail the mission. Frustration ensued, but was tempered by the fact that running full pelt through the streets was really, really fun.
Jump or drop, Ezio? Jump or drop?
Eventually I noticed I could climb a wall and run over the roof, avoiding the door entirely. Once I did, I completed the level. Hurrah!
It’s a good game, this, you know, but right now it’s lack a certain something to make it one of the best games on the iPhone. I think it’s a combination of the odd control fluff (they’re perfectly responsive, but the context-sensitive buttons can be a little confusing right now) and the fact that running full speed, which is the best part of the game, will almost always land you in deep trouble if you don’t know exactly what lies ahead.
Right now, I think that if I made a list of the top twenty games on the iPhone, this might make it in, but it’s not going to unseat any of the top ten. That could all change after more play, though. I might come to love it, or the little annoyances might grow and grow until I end up hating the very mention of Ezio’s name.
I’m looking forward to finding out.
Words With Friends (iPhone)
Feb 3rd
Woke up to an update for Words With Friends this morning. Apparently it’s got some bug fixes and a “new, improved” dictionary. Whether it’s actually been improved, or whether they’ve just, for example, taken out the rude words remains to be seen.
Ended up making VAT over on the left. Going to take some doing to get back into this game.
I have a feeling that you can play with people who haven’t updated, so there may words that my opponents can make that I can’t and vice versa. I’m pretty sure I’ve had that happen before.
Bird Strike (iPhone)
Feb 2nd
The game I played most last night. Not as good as Twin Blades for playing while the TV is on, but I did my best. I’ve done eight levels now up to Silver standard (with a Gold medal for the first level), but I’m struggling a bit on the ninth. There are some tricky paths to negotiate and a limited number of fireworks. I’ve been restarting quite often.
Ouch indeed, little bird.
This another case of having to learn levels. You’ll never be able to find your way to the top without hitting some obstacles using reflexes alone, you really have to know what’s coming. You might not need to restart the level – there are always more fireworks than you need to get to the top, at least so far – but you’ll definitely be giving your bird a headache.
