InvertY.com
A Gaming Diary
Cocoto Kart Online (iPhone)
Oct 21st
I’ve played this some more, to try and decide whether or not I like it and I have come to a decision.
I don’t like it.
It’s just too hard and I don’t understand what the golden apples are for and turning off “shake to jump” just seems to stop you being able to jump at all and I just can’t get my head round it. If the game had eased me in, with helpful prompts and an easy level that’s actually easy, then I’m sure I’d be able to into it, but I just can’t. It feels like it’s testing me, to see if I deserve the game, and it looks like I don’t.
It’s a real shame, as I’m sure there’s a good game here somewhere, but I can’t find it.
Twilight Golf Lite (iPhone)
Oct 21st
Important Fact 1: This has nothing to do with sparkling vampires. Important Fact 2: It doesn’t have much to do with golf, either.
You’ve got a ball (or disc). You send it flying around the level until it hits the other ball (or disc). That’s the gist of it, anyway.
Of course, there are a lot of obstacles in the way. Doors that need opening, falling blocks, that sort of thing. And there are puzzles, which unfortunately include my second least favourite type of puzzle (after sliding block puzzles).
It’s a “hit the switches in the correct order” puzzle. Where the switches reset if you get one wrong. The very worst kind of trial and error and something that completely coloured my view of the rest of the game, which I was enjoying to a reasonable level, though I wasn’t finding it very inspiring.
Also, the Lite version has seven levels, which took less than ten minutes to get through, while the full version has thirty. Doesn’t seem like great value for money, though if you take to the game – and plenty of people do seem to love it, so you can probably ignore me – then getting gold medals on every level should prove a stiff challenge.
I’ll say one good thing, though – the lighting is absolutely gorgeous. It might be worth downloading the Lite just to have a look at it. And, hey, maybe you’ll like the game more than I did.
Minigore (iPhone)
Oct 20th
It’s been a few days since I played Minigore, which is a few days too long. Played it at lunchtime, though. Good news, too. I got a new high score.
Witness.
Best by quite a long way, but still a fair way off unlocking Insane mode. (You need 6,000 points for that one.) And I like the way the high score table hides my blushes/horribly broken corpse.
I’m glad I’m not Amish.
What comedy show had a sketch about a new religion that didn’t use technology invented after 1981 (or so) and had people having to play on an old Atari console and, I dunno, use a rotary phone or something? That was very funny at the time, which was probably around 1990 or thereabouts. Anyone?
Crazy Snowboard (iPhone)
Oct 20th
Hammered through some of the missions, none of which presented any problem, such are my skills. Fear me.
Actually, no, don’t. That would be very silly indeed. The fact is, Crazy Snowboard is not, so far, a very difficult game at all if you just want bronze medals. Some of the gold medals will no doubt prove trickier, though some I’m getting first time.
As I said before, though, I spend as much time just boarding down the slope in free ride mode as I do actually treating it as a game with goals. Medals, progression, unlockables – they’re nothing compared to the simple joy of the core snowboarding experience, which has been nailed here, albeit in a very simple way. It’s no Amped – oh, but I loved Amped! – but it doesn’t need to be.
Slay (iPhone)
Oct 20th
I have commanded armies…
…and conquered worlds.
Well, I’ve picked up little men and dropped them around islands made up of hexagons, but it’s more or less the same thing.
Canabalt (iPhone)
Oct 20th
I’ve decided that the main character’s name is Alan Zeus and that sometimes he is deaf. That is all.
Soosiz (iPhone)
Oct 20th
This game has got properly challenging now. I’m not sure how many worlds there are, but I’m in world three and every level is taking multiple attempts. More enemies and obstacles, new crazy gravity, lots of buttons to press, more open levels, etc.
This is not a bad thing at all. It’s not annoying, broken or spiteful difficulty. It feels more like the game respects the progress you’ve made and knows that you’ve earned the right to bigger challenges.
Really, if you’ve ever loved 2D platformers and have an iPhone or iPod Touch you need this game.
Slay (iPhone)
Oct 20th
This game is dangerous. It’s near impossible to put down during a game. I think I’m just going to play for a turn a two and before I know it my legs have lost all feeling and my wife’s knocking on the bathroom door asking if everything’s okay.
And at the moment, the answer is always yes, because I’m still on the very easy levels, where trees are more dangerous than my actual enemies. Seriously they’re brain dead at this level. If they ever manage to disrupt my plans, it’s only ever by sheer fluke. I don’t have to be careful with positioning or worry about defending my territory, I just grow and expand however I like and eventually they surrender. The only challenge comes from trying to beat the levels in as few moves as possible.
It’s a very good way to get back into the game, but I’m starting to want a little bit more in the way of competition.
Hook Champ (iPhone)
Oct 20th
Here is a picture of me about to shoot a monster in the face.
I hate that guy. You shoot him with your shotgun and it just stuns him for a little while. You can never kill him. He’s always there, either just behind you or chewing you up and spitting out your bones. (And hat.) No matter how far you run, he’s there. If you can’t see him, you might catch glimpse of his stinking gaseous breath coming from just off screen. He’s terrifying, unstoppable and impossible avoid, until you reach the end of the level and are pulled to happy, shiny freedom.
And you know, that’s a bit like Jesus. Or Richard Dawkins. One of those guys.
I bet that monster couldn’t kill Richard Dawkins. I reckon if anyone tried to kill Richard Dawkins he would just state that their weapons were illogical and unscientific. Any bullets, knives, bombs or rabid bats would simply melt away as they approached his big smug face.
The man married a Time Lord, for pity’s sake, he’s obviously not a normal human.
And what’s the betting he borrows Romana’s TARDIS to go back in time and check his theories? That’s probably why he’s so sure of himself. Well, that or the overwhelming scientific evidence for evolution. One of the two.
I wonder if he’s met any Daleks? I had a Dalek when I was three. It was the morning of my mum and dad’s wedding, so my grandpa – who was the very nicest man to have ever lived, by the way – took me out to the toy shop and bought me a Dalek while everyone was busy with preparations. I was happily playing with it while the adults did wedding stuff when it suddenly broke. Stopped moving around on its wheels, stopped making noises. I was devasted and ran into the tent where the speeches were being made, screaming and crying like only a small child can. There are pictures from the wedding of my dad giving his speech while my uncle holds me, my face a scrunched up mess of grief. I kept the Dalek for a long time in the bottom of my toy box, even though I wanted to cry every time I saw it.
Now, though, my house is full of Daleks. An analogue clock Dalek hanging on the wall. A digital clock Dalek I found in a charity shop. Lots of toy Daleks of various sizes scattered about the house. So I guess I got the last laugh. Again, like Jesus. Or Richard Dawkins.
Note to Radio 4: am available for Thought for the Day any time you want.
You know what, though? I lied to you up above when I said I was about to shoot the monster in the face. Taking the screen shot took too long, so before I could hit the shotgun button, I was dead. That’s not like Jesus or Richard Dawkins. That’s just life.
Canabalt (iPhone)
Oct 20th
Canabalt got updated in the early hours of this morning. No new features, the description just said it was a bunch of bug fixes. The only bug I’d noticed was related to Twitter. When updating my Twitter account, the game still posted to my old account. With this update, it’s posting to my new account.
Now I’ve just got to get a score worthy of posting on Twitter. My test score was a little over 1,000m, which is rubbish. I got nearly six thousand metres last night before the update, so anything over that will be worth tweeting, I think. If you want to see my scores and achievements from iPhone games, you can follow my @thatrevgames account.
Also, talking of Twitter, if you want to see new blog posts from this site in your Twitter feed (maybe you’re scared of RSS or something, I don’t know), you can follow the @invert_y account and links to new blog posts will appear in your timeline. Don’t forget the underscore, @inverty was already taken.
