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I did good!

Okay, forget my mealy-mouthed shit from yesterday. “Oh, well, I like it, but you might not, blah, blah, blah.” Fuck all that. Fuck it in the ear. DungeonCore is bloody brilliant and that’s the end of the story. If you don’t have the patience to get into it, that’s your fault. The game’s bloody great and I can’t stop playing it. If you don’t love it, leave it. When you’re running down DungeonCore, man, you’re walking on the fighting side of me.

And I have an excellent beard.

And I’m in a very strange mood this morning.

So, how to describe this game? The best I can come up with is that it’s a bit like an upside-down Doodle Jump, reimagined as a roguelike.

That’s not very helpful.

Okay, so you’re a little chap with some pants and a sword. You fall down the screen and run left and right across platforms. If you get stuck at the top of the screen, you die. If you fall off the bottom of the screen, you die. This is made much harder by a control system that doesn’t let you stay in place; you’re always running left or right if you’re on a platform.

Do you like my hat?

So, you see, you need to plan ahead and try to stop on larger platforms, because it’s almost impossible to tilt the iPhone fast enough to stay on the small ones. Until, that is, you buy some better boots.

Which is my cunning segue into the RPG elements of the game. As you drop down you hit and kill enemies, earning gold and losing hit points. Every now and again you’ll enter a shop, where you can buy new items and equipment. Potions refill your health, shields increase your health bar, weapons increase your accuracy, caps increase the money you get from kills, etc.

So you fall down and down, trying to kill enough enemies to get the cash you need to survive – but without running out of hit points. There’s a lot to think about. In the first shop, do you buy a cap to increase your cash or buy some boots to help you control your hero better? Later on, should you upgrade your defence or attack? Or get an even better cap for even more money?

Tough decisions. And when you die it’s back to the beginning again, with just your basic sword and your pants, having to start from scratch… almost. You see, achievements gained in the game (e.g. getting to 100m depth, killing 150 enemies) unlock new items and equipment, which can then be purchased in any shop.

It took me quite a few goes to even unlock boots to buy, for example, but now I can normally afford some at the very first shop. So by doing well in the game, you make later attempts a bit easier, but the decisions you have to make in the shops a lot harder.

I'm number two! I'm number two!

Does any of that make sense? Basically, you’ve got a little tilt-based arcade game with RPG elements and controls that take a lot of adjusting to. I really wasn’t sure if I liked the game at first, but the more I played it, the more I enjoyed it. (Especially as I now have access to those lovely boots.)

I can imagine a lot of people being put off by the controls. I nearly was. Extended play, though, has made me like the game a lot more. Partly because I’ve unlocked more choices of equipment and partly because I’ve got better at the game.

There’s no neat conclusion, here, no easy recommendation to either get the game or stay away. I like it, but I have no idea if you will. Still, it’s only 59p. Could be worth trying.